Anxiety Isn’t Your Identity (Here’s What It Really Means)

Beloved,

If I had a dollar for every time I heard the word anxiety this year, I’d have enough money to fund my venti white chocolate mocha habit for life. (And let’s keep it real—sometimes that habit is part of the problem. Triple shot, no sleep, and now I’m wondering why my heart is racing? Groundbreaking. 🙃) Anxiety has become one of the buzzwords of the century (along with narcissism). It’s in our songs, in our memes, in the way we excuse why we ghosted someone’s text for three weeks. I’ve even heard about nine-year-olds tell their parents, “I have anxiety,” like it’s a school subject: Math, Reading, PE, Anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong—emotional awareness is a gift. We are finally talking about things past generations just stuffed down between casserole dishes and Sunday smiles. But awareness without wisdom? That’s a mess waiting to happen. Somewhere along the way, people started self-diagnosing every uncomfortable emotion as anxiety. Spoiler alert: a lot of what we’re calling “anxiety” is actually just fear with a glow-up.

Now, I’m not saying anxiety disorders aren’t real—they are. Some people do need professional care and therapy, and that’s a wise and courageous step. But what I am saying is that not everything that feels scary, overwhelming, or uncomfortable deserves to be labeled “anxiety.” Sometimes it’s just plain ol’ fear. And fear, my friends, is something Scripture has a lot to say about.

What Anxiety Actually Is

At its core, anxiety is your body’s smoke alarm. Your heart races, your chest feels tight, your brain runs a hamster marathon on a wheel that’s squeakier than a dollar store toy. And suddenly you’re convinced you’re about to be fired, abandoned, broke, or left on “read” forever.

Sometimes that alarm is helpful. If a bear runs into your campsite, you should panic. But most of us aren’t dodging bears—we’re dodging deadlines, traffic, toddlers, or that one person from high school who still overshares on Facebook. Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference. Alarm = alarm.

And here’s the thing: Scripture doesn’t shame us for feeling it. Philippians 4:6–7 (ESV) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Translation? The alarm may ring, but you don’t have to live with it blaring 24/7.

What Anxiety Is Not

Anxiety is not your identity. You are not “an anxious person.” You’re not branded with a capital “A” like some kind of emotional Scarlet Letter. You are a beloved child of God who sometimes feels anxious. Period.

It’s also not always a disorder. Sometimes it’s fear. Sometimes it’s exhaustion. Sometimes it’s the fact that you’ve said “yes” to 27 things you didn’t want to do because you still haven’t learned that “no” is a complete sentence. (Ouch... If you felt that, then sign up for the Boundaries Breakthrough Experience!)

And listen—anxiety is not a moral failure. Feeling fear doesn’t mean you don’t love Jesus enough. Even David said, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Psalm 56:3, ESV). If David could slay Goliath and still admit he got scared, you’re in good company.

Also, let’s stop using anxiety as a license to control everyone else. Your feelings are your stewardship, not someone else’s emergency assignment. And no, it’s not always spiritual warfare either. Sometimes it’s just that you’ve had four cups of coffee and three hours of sleep.

Why “Anxiety” Got So Popular

So why does everyone and their toddler suddenly “have anxiety”?

Because the language caught fire. Words like “anxiety,” “trauma,” and “boundaries” went viral on Instagram, and now we’ve got self-diagnosis culture. Which is kind of like going on WebMD for a headache and walking away convinced you have 48 hours left to live.

On top of that, our nervous systems are fried. Notifications pinging every five minutes. World crises are showing up on your phone before your feet hit the floor in the morning. Less sunshine, more screen time. Less community, more isolation. And let’s not forget—trauma is real, and unresolved pain leaves your body on high alert. All of that together? Boom. Anxiety is everywhere.

Fear: The Real Culprit

Here’s the truth most of us don’t want to admit: a lot of the time, “anxiety” is just fear in yoga pants. Fear of failing. Fear of being rejected. Fear of not being enough. Fear of someone spelling your name wrong on a Starbucks cup again, because do you even know me, barista?!

And when you call it what it is—fear—you can actually deal with it. Because fear has a name, and God has an answer. “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18, ESV). You don’t have to fight vague “anxiety” floating in the air. You can say, “Lord, I’m afraid of ________,” and let His love meet you right there.

How to S.H.I.F.T. Out of Anxiety

In my coaching practice, I teach a signature tool that is quite impactful in moments like this - it works wonders when your system is screaming at you. It’s called S.H.I.F.T.™—because that’s what needs to happen when anxiety pulls you under.

• Slow your body. Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for six. Bonus points if you whisper, “Jesus, be near” on the inhale and “I trust You” on the exhale.

• Hear the fear. Write it down in one sentence. If your brain is going to be dramatic, at least let it be dramatic on paper.

• Inspect the thought. Ask: Is this true? Is it the whole story? (Spoiler: usually not.)

• Frame it with faith and facts. Remind yourself what’s real right now, then anchor yourself in a promise of God.

• Take one faithful step. Send the email. Drink the water. Put the phone down. Go to bed. Small obedience calms loud fear.

  
  

Everyday Practices That Actually Help

You know what makes “anxiety” ten times worse? Living like a night owl who never sleeps, never moves from a desk, and survives off water, a Recess, and vibes. (Don’t ask me how I know. 🙃)

Sleep. Move your body. Eat food that wasn’t unwrapped from plastic in the last 30 seconds. Limit your news and social media. Start your day with the Word instead of Instagram or TikTok. Spend time with people who don’t drain your soul. These aren’t luxuries—they’re survival tools God wired into our humanity.

And parents—if your kid is already saying they “have anxiety,” don’t panic. Teach them breath prayers. Teach them to name what they’re feeling. Model calm. And please, please remind them that asking for help is wisdom, not weakness.

When You Need Extra Help

If fear or panic is hijacking your daily life, disrupting sleep, or leaving you feeling unsafe with yourself or others, that’s not something to white-knuckle alone. That’s when you bring in a counselor, doctor, or therapist. Therapy and faith aren’t enemies—they’re teammates. God works through prayer and professionals alike.

A Gentle Reframe

You are not “an anxious mess.” You are a beloved child of God learning to face fear and walk in freedom. You are growing. You are courageous. And sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is close your laptop, say “Lord, I trust You,” and actually get some sleep.

A Prayer for You

Lord,

You see the knots in our stomachs and the thoughts running in circles. We cast them on You tonight because You care for us. Steady our bodies, quiet our minds, and remind us that we are safe in Your love. Give us wisdom to call fear by its name and courage to move forward in faith. Let Your perfect love drive out every fear.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

With power, love, and a sound mind,

Adrienne K.

P.S. If this hit home for you, you don’t have to carry it alone. Through Harbor for Healing 1x1 coaching and in the Shift. Heal. Grow!™  group coaching program, we walk through this stuff in real time—helping you trade fear for freedom in Christ.