Stop Putting God in a Box He Will Never Fit

Dec 18, 2025
6 min read

Emotional Healing Will Always Be a Partnership

If you've been around for a while, then you know I'm always on the side of honesty... and so should you, because pretending is exhausting! A lot of us are tired not because God hasn’t moved, but because we’ve been waiting on Him in places where He’s been quietly waiting on us.

Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed this idea that if God wanted to heal something in us, He would. Full stop. No involvement required. Just pray, trust, and keep it moving. And when the healing didn’t come the way we expected, we didn’t question the framework — we questioned ourselves. Maybe our faith wasn’t strong enough. Perhaps we didn’t surrender enough. Maybe we just needed to “wait better.”

But if we slow down long enough to tell the truth — not the church truth, the real truth — what we often mean is: I don’t know how to deal with this. Or, I’m scared of what healing might ask of me. Or, I don’t want to open something I don’t know how to close.

So instead of engaging, we spiritualize. And without realizing it, we put God in a box He will never fit into.

Here’s what we don’t always like to admit: God has never been interested in healing us without us. He has always been interested in healing us with us. Emotional wholeness was never meant to be passive, and faith was never meant to function as a spiritual escape hatch from doing the deeper work.

Scripture doesn’t tell us to ignore our inner world and call it trust.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”(Proverbs 4:23, ESV)

That word keep implies responsibility. Attention. Care. You cannot keep what you refuse to look at. You cannot guard what you will not acknowledge. And you cannot steward your heart if you’ve been taught that paying attention to your emotions means you’re weak, dramatic, or lacking faith. God is not offended by your inner world. He designed it, cares about it, and your life is being shaped by it, whether you acknowledge it or not.

That’s not self-focus. That’s maturity.

Now let’s talk about prayer — because some of us have learned how to use prayer as a way to stay emotionally distant while still sounding very spiritual. We pray instead of pausing. We pray instead of noticing patterns. We pray instead of asking ourselves hard, uncomfortable questions. And then we wonder why nothing shifts.

Prayer is powerful. Prayer is essential. Prayer is non-negotiable.

But prayer was never meant to replace self-awareness.

James doesn’t sugarcoat this:

“Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”(James 2:17, NASB)

That’s not an insult — it’s an invitation. Healing requires participation. And sometimes the “work” isn’t doing more spiritual things; it’s being willing to sit still long enough to notice what’s actually happening inside of you. To stop rebuking emotions that are trying to tell you something. To let God show you what you’ve been avoiding instead of asking Him to hurry up and fix it.

David understood this kind of faith.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts.”(Psalm 139:23, NASB)

That is not a comfortable prayer. That’s a grown and dangerous one - just the kind I like!

And while we’re here, let’s clear this up: struggling does not mean you’re failing at faith.

Some of us were taught — explicitly or implicitly — that real faith means emotional ease. That if we truly trusted God, we wouldn’t still be wrestling. But Scripture tells a much more honest story.

Paul, who loved God deeply and lived surrendered, said:

“We were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life.”(2 Corinthians 1:8, NASB)

Faith didn’t erase his emotional reality. It gave him language for it. It gave him somewhere to bring it. Struggle isn’t evidence that you’re doing something wrong; often, it’s evidence that something deeper needs attention — and God wants to meet you there, not just pull you out of it.

While we're here in the thick of it, let me remind you that yes — God absolutely cares about the things you keep minimizing. This is where many of us start to get uncomfortable, because these are the places we’ve learned to brush past quickly and label as “not that serious.”

The grief you rushed because stopping felt inconvenient, impractical, or like it would slow you down too much. You told yourself you didn’t have time to fall apart, so you swallowed it and kept functioning — but grief doesn’t disappear just because you stay busy. It waits.

The anger you swallowed because it didn’t feel “Christian.” You told yourself good believers don’t feel that way, so you pressed it down, quoted a verse, and called it maturity — while resentment quietly settled into your body and relationships.

The exhaustion you normalized because rest would have required boundaries. And boundaries would have meant disappointing people, saying no, or admitting you were at your limit. So instead, you called burnout “service” and depletion “obedience.”

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”(Psalm 34:18, NASB)

But here’s the part we don’t always like: God’s nearness requires honesty. He does not heal what we will not name. We cannot keep sweeping things under the rug and asking Him to bless the house. Eventually, love says, We need to talk about what’s been hiding down there. Not to shame you — but because freedom lives on the other side of that conversation.

Are you still reading? Good! Now I'm coming for the jugular of delusion within Christianity: Some of us have become very skilled at praying around what God wants to heal.

“Lord, give me peace,” while ignoring the anxiety screaming for attention and asking to be understood.

“Lord, help me forgive,” while resentment quietly runs the show and shapes how you show up.

“Lord, show me the next step,” while refusing to look at what you’re afraid of losing if you actually obey.

“Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being.”(Psalm 51:6, NASB)

Not performance. Not pretending. Not silence.

Truth — in the inner places — is where healing actually begins.

So let me say this with love, clarity, and just enough big-sis side-eye to make it land:

You don’t need more faith.

You don’t need prettier prayers.

And you definitely don’t need to disappear and hope God does the rest.

You need partnership.

Healing has always required your participation, and God has always known that. The Lord had me start Harbor for Healing and create Shift. Heal. Grow!™ because so many people love God deeply but were never taught how to engage the inner work He’s already inviting them into — with compassion, wisdom, and structure. Not fixing yourself. Not striving. Just learning how to walk with God toward freedom, one honest step at a time.

A Prayer to Step Into Partnership

Lord,

I’m tired of pretending I’m fine when I’m not. I’m tired of praying around the same places You keep gently pointing me back to. I confess that I’ve minimized pain, swallowed emotions, and called avoidance “faith” because it felt safer than slowing down and being honest.

Search my heart — not to shame me, but to free me. Show me what I’ve been afraid to name. Give me the courage to sit with what hurts instead of rushing past it. Teach me how to partner with You in my healing, not just wait for You to do something while I stay disconnected. I want wholeness, not just relief. I want truth, not just comfort. I want freedom — even if it requires my participation.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

With love, grace, and holy wig-splitting,

Adrienne K.

PS: You know I love giving homework, aka heart work! Take some time and really sit with the Lord in these questions!

This Week’s Heart Work: Audit Your Partnership

Ask yourself:

Where have I been minimizing pain that God may be inviting me to acknowledge?
In what ways have I used prayer to avoid deeper emotional honesty?
What might partnership with God look like for me in this season — practically, not just spiritually?

If This Hit Home… Here’s a Gentle Next Step

If something in this stirred a place in you that’s been tired, stretched thin, or quietly overwhelmed, I want you to hear this clearly: you’re not wrong for feeling that way — and you don’t have to navigate this realignment on your own.

So many people love God deeply but were never given space or tools to do the inner work that healing actually requires. Shift. Heal. Grow!™ exists for that exact reason. It’s a grounded, Christ-centered space where you’re supported, seen, and guided as you begin untangling the patterns, expectations, and emotional weight you’ve been carrying — often longer than you realized.

This isn’t about fixing yourself or proving anything. It’s about coming back into alignment with the whole, grounded, God-led version of you — the one who doesn’t have to rush past pain, minimize emotions, or pretend you’re fine when you’re not.

If your heart has been whispering, “It’s time to stop avoiding this and actually do the work,” I’d be honored to walk with you. You can learn more about Shift. Heal. Grow!™ [here]. No pressure. Just an invitation to step into the healing you’ve been praying for — with support this time.